EVERYONE’S DOING IT BUT ARE YOU READY?
So it seems everyone around you has already “done it”. You don’t want to lose out. You want to tell your friends, “Hell yeah! Been there, done that!” Physically, you think your body wants it… But are you really ready to have sex?
REFRAIN FROM GIVING IN TO PEER PRESSURE
Sure, your friends or acquaintances may have “done it” already, but *newsflash* this is YOUR life and it’s YOUR decision to make. You shouldn’t be pressured into doing anything that you aren’t prepared for – not by your peers, your partner or anyone else.
Sex is a personal decision that involves intimacy, personal values and the possible risks of STIs and pregnancy.
Know yourself. If it is incongruous with your own values, don’t rush into it!
Establish why you want to have sex. If you start to realize it’s because you want to make someone else happy or you want to impress other people, then you’re not really doing it for yourself, are you?
Having sex will not make a partner love you more or prove your love for them. Just because your partner wants sex, it doesn’t mean that you have to have sex with them.
Having sex will not make you ‘older’ or look older, and it won’t make you cool. It’s actually really uncool to rush into things due to peer pressure.
If any of these reasons are your main motivation for wanting sex, then you probably aren’t ready.
So don’t feel pressured. Think about whether you really want to have sex with them.
READY TO BE RESPONSIBLE?
So, the first question you need to ask yourself is whether you are ready to be responsible. Are you familiar with the risks involved in having sex and are you prepared to take the necessary steps to reduce these risks? Have you spoken to your partner about whether he or she has any STIs or has been tested? (If you haven’t, you should probably read the articles “Safe(r) Sex,” “Sexual Health Screening,” and “Setting Boundaries – the CUNT Principle)
If you’re a guy, you can buy a pack of condoms from 7-Eleven and practise putting them on the right way. For an extra challenge, try doing it in the dark just to make sure! Not only can condoms prevent unwanted pregnancies, they also protect you and your partner from spreading any other unwanted infections that both of you might be unaware of.
In the case of any unwanted pregnancy, are you able to stand together with your partner and make a joint decision?
READY TO TAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO THE NEXT LEVEL?
This applies to those who want to initiate sex with their partners. Have you and your partner talked about why you want to have sex? Have you talked about what you expect from sex? Have you talked about what worries or fears you might have about sex? Have you talked about what you think it will be like? Have you talked about ways in which it might change your relationship? Have you talked about what sex means to you, and any cultural or religious implications it may have?
Sex usually adds a new dimension to your relationship. It can bring couples closer or it can drive them apart, so be sure you and your partner are comfortable with each other first.
You don’t have to rush into having sex. Understand one another and be sure that this is what both of you want. Start slowly and keep checking in with your partner along the way. Find out what your partner enjoys and is comfortable with. Communication and respect for each other’s wishes is key; whatever you do, DON’T force your partner into anything they aren’t ready to do.